we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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