You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
