Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
