Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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