There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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