Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
