this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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