On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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