I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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