I have demons in me.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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