why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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