Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
