I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
