jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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