No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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