I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
