; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
