i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
