Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
