I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
