He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
