You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
This toilet bowl is my home.
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