I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I need water and some morals
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize