When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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