I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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