He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
