Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
