Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
