Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize