atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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