Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
