some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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