you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i now understand why vodka
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
wow bdsm is so cute
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
