I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
