Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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