It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize