he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
