We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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