last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
COCAINE IS GR8
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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