My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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