no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im holly from the hills drunk
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
