I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
