I think my fart just growled at me.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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