I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
there is puke in my bra ... again
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
