12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
