sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
