I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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