We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize