I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
