I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the day after is always just damage control
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
