just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
