Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
