Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize