I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i came on her dog
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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