Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
