I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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