you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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