Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
