i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He felt like a one man threesome
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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