They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
