Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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