just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
