just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I've blown a few things in my day
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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