So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
